i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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