Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
is it fun? or sober?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
