Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
it was like eating out sand paper
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
they're like a gay fantastic four
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
