Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
