Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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