It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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