I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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