Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
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