I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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