I wish I could punch you in the face.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
