Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
