just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
