dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
