what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
