Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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