I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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