you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
