OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
