oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
