Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
