i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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