you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
