ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
