Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
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