My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
