I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
