His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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