I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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