What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
