You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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