"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
