I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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