I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
MIDGETS
????
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
