butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
why do cheetos always look like penises
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
