There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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