It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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