shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
