There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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