So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
