I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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