No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
