you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
