Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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