I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
