i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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