Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Fuck me I smell like cheese
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
