'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
