You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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