I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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