My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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