i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Randomize
