Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
...so i touched it.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
