Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
