Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
