We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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