Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
i need some magic done to my vagina
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
