Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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